So I finally buckled down a few months ago and bought a Sonicare toothbrush. Talk about “things I should have done ages ago.” My teeth now feel squeaky clean. I have to watch how quickly I smile, lest my head ring with the familiar squeaking of freshly washed Tupperware. But enough about personal hygiene.
The real question is this: Sonicare has a regular model, the e7300, priced at $75. Then there’s the model marketed to “teens” (since we all know their teeth are way different from adults’), the e3000, priced at a meager $25. What’s the real difference between the two models? Well, dumb stuff. Like the e7300 has several LEDs to tell you how much power is left. Like the e7300 pauses every 30 seconds to say hi and help you count down your two-minute recommended brushing time (~which~ model is for teens again?!). Like whereas the e3000 takes AA batteries, the e7300 has a sealed-in, completely un-replaceable, only-the-factory-knows-how-so-you-might-as-well-throw-the-whole-brush-away-when-it-goes-bad battery. Talk about planned obsolescence. The environmentally conscious among you can simply use rechargeable AA’s on the e3000 and essentially get the same toothbrush for a third the price.
At least that was my theory. But ever the scientist, I had to find out empirically whether this holds true. So three months ago I bought both brushes. My wife and I used one each. I figured I’d keep an eye on both brushes to see whether, indeed, buying the cheaper one is the slam-dunk, obvious thing to do.
Three months later, the cheaper brush suddenly stopped working. No rust, no apparent damage, no other contraindications. It simply stopped coming to life.
Now, the brand- and marketing-conscious among you will simply say, “I told you so.” “You get what you pay for.” That whole bit. But I beg to differ. Since the e3000 costs a third the price of the e7300, I’d have to have two more go bad before we’re even talking the same game. I haven’t decided yet whether the e3000 was simply manufactured to die early. But I plan to find out, once again empirically. I will, yet again, buy an e3000. In fact, even if that one dies, I plan to buy a third one. At that point, if the third one dies before the first e7300, we can debate whether or not my fourth brush should still be the cheaper one. That would be the apples-to-apples comparison.
In the meantime, I’ve written up my experience in Haiku form on Amazon (it’s pretty obvious which review is mine — look for the familiar Haiku spacing). For all I know, it might be Amazon’s first Haiku review. Click to it and vote it up! Let’s see if we can make the Haiku review some sort of cult phenomenon, like flash mobbing. You can say you were there when it all started.